Single and ready to mingle…
Alright, so you are single and ready to mingle. Or are you?
Often times once us gals become single, and get over whatever mess we have come out of. We think we are ready to plunge back into the dating world. We never stop and ask ourselves. “Am I ready to start dating again?” (That’s a whole other topic). Now if you do and the answer is “Yes” then ask yourself “Am I dating properly?” In case you were unaware, there is a proper and improper way to date. And as women, we seem to fall short in that area.
Sorry ladies, it’s true.
Dating…… Some people love it, while others hate it. It’s pretty much that simple. You meet a few people here and there, then you go out on a series of dates. Some repeatedly, while others don’t make it past “Hello”.
Often times, we may meet a guy. He’s looking real good on paper. He can carry decent conversation. Got a stable job, a stable living situation, a stable mental space (which is super important. Don’t sleep ladies). Has all of his original teeth, which are in great condition, might I add. If he has children, he’s seeds are not planted everywhere. He has a good relationship with his child/children mother, is proactive in his child/children lives. And his social media is looking right ( insert the eye roll emoji here). Bells go off immediately!
Since meeting a single, black man who is the total package, isn’t a everyday occurrence. We are already walking the man down the isle mentally.
Ladies, my ladies. Instead of taking our time, and getting to know the man on a friendship level. We are ready to rush right in, within 1 month. Then we become upset with him, 6 months in. Once we find out he’s not as perfect as he seemed. Unfortunately for you, he has failed to express the fact that he likes to wear woman’s panties on his down time (This is not as uncommon as you think).
The fact of the matter is, we are missing the essence and the art of dating. You should be taking your time, getting to know one another on a friendship level. Nothing more, nothing less. And it’s ok to date more than one guy. I said date, not sleep with. Although if that’s your thing I’m not knocking you, trust me.
I mean I get it, there’s no way to know everything about a person, no matter how long you have known them. So that’s not what I am implying. All that I am saying is before you start getting starry eyed. You should at least give yourself the time and opportunity to know an individual longer than 1 month. And by taking your time, you can achieve that.
Ladies use this time to exercise your right to put your best foot forward. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Take your time. Meet an abundance of new people. That’s is the only way for you to decide what you truly want, and what you are truly looking for in a mate. And what better way to find out, by meeting and getting to know a bunch of random folks?
In all actuality, dating is just a easier way of adding or subtracting new/old people into and from your life. This should be a fun process, and you should be treating it as such. For me personally, I like to met new people. And if your interesting and intriguing, well that’s just an added bonus!
Lastly whatever it is that you are planning to do. Do it safely, ok? So that you can truly be single and ready to mingle the right way!