- You ever had a taste for Thai food, but instead decided to settle for a cold sandwich? And all while you are eating this cold sandwich. You are secretly wishing you had gotten that Thai food you so desperately desired.
It’s that one thing that we are all guilty of. Whether it’s our careers, friendships and intimate partnerships. We have a tendency to settle. And we all have done that from one time to another.
No matter what it is, why do we feel that it is ok to settle for less than what we really want? Why are we so comfortable with the state of being complacent in any area of our lives? Whether it be what we want to eat for lunch, applying for that higher paying job, or even who we decide to build intimate relationships with.
Now I get there are times I’m life when we take what we can get until better can be done, such as in our careers. Maybe you’ve been unemployed for a while. Bills are piling up, and kids need new cloths. I get it, and I have been there. You may move into an apartment that you don’t love, but you need a place to stay and this place is within your price range. Or maybe even lunch. You settled for that cold sandwich, when you would have preferred Thai food. Maybe you weren’t in the mood to walk, or your pockets could not afford that Thai dish. I understand all of the above.
But what I don’t understand is settling when it comes to our relationships. There should never be a time in life where you are just taking what you think you can get. Most times people tend to settle in relationships because they are lonely, feel as if they can do no better, or they feel as though they have some sort of obligation to the other party.
The problem is when you just decide to stay in a place where you are not being fulfilled mentally, physically, emotional and spiritually, you do yourself more harm than good. You are not only not being fair to yourself. But you are also being unfair to the other party. And in situations like that, nobody ever wins.
The settler often tends to resent the other party, because they are forcing themselves to be in a place where they are not content. And the other party is being cheated because the settler is unable to give them what they deserve, their all.
It is best to only enter relationships for the right reasons alone. In order to do that, you must first be real with self. You must make it a point to know exactly what it is you really want, and be prepared to wait for it. Next never jump into a situation because the idea sounds good in the beginning. You have to think past the here and now. You also must make sure that the situation is everything that YOU wantand more. Never try to please someone else, without pleasing self first.
You owe self at least that much.