Love & Relationships

“Do You Like Your Cup Half Empty | Or Half Full?”

Does the couple that play together, stay together? I have these super interesting conversations with my good girlfriends. We speak on a wide range of things, and no topic is off limits. Sometimes I will share these conversations. Why? Because they make for good topics, such as this one. So do you like your relationship cup half empty, or half full?

Here’s an example of one of those conversations.

Half And Half

As everyone knows, there are times when you build relationships, with people inside of your work environment. I mean technically we spend more time with our co-workers than with our actually family. One of my friends is no different. She has became friends with one of her co-workers. They hang out together often. And she’s even “cool” with his girlfriend.

During the past couple of months, my friend has been sharing with me, an on the job situation. A new female employee has entered the fold. My friend has noticed since this new young lady has been aboard, her friend has been kind of over zealous about her. He’s been helping, and even doing some of her work for her. When he speaks of her, he has nothing but wonderful things to say. He even becomes defensive, if someone speaks about this woman in a negative manner.

I think you know where I am going with this.

Recently the co-worker girlfriend called my friend to vent. She informs her that she has found out, that her man was cheating on her with the new employee (Duh). She goes on to reveal that while visiting his place, she looked through his things and found videos of him and the girl. Raunchy videos, you know the kind. The kind where condiments are involved. And in addition, there were other videos and pictures. Of him and countless other woman.

Now here’s where things get a little spicy, interesting and confusing. All at the same damn time.

As the girlfriend is venting to my friend about the guy cheating, some interesting facts begin to surface. Her and her man has an open relationship. And has had one for quite some time now. This agreement was set into place, by the girlfriend, because her man wouldn’t stop cheating.

The problem that the girlfriend is having isn’t the fact that he’s sleeping around. I mean they sleep around separately and together as a unit. So that’s not the issue. The issue is she told him not to sleep with this girl in particular. They have a rule that if one disagrees with a potential partner, then the other partner cannot sleep with them.

In addition, there is no kissing allowed. Apparently he went against her, and broke both of those rules. In turn she feels betrayed and wants to end things with him.

Listen, everyone does what’s best for them. In regards to their relationship. But if you have a mate that is constantly cheating on you. I am not sure if granting him an open relationship is going to solve any of your issues. Neither is setting rules and regulations.

If you allow your man to roam free, expect that there may come a time when he’s not going to come back home. And if he does, he just may come back with someone or something extra.

One of the major things we seem to ignore is this. When you become intimate with a person, you open yourself up to a number of different things besides the obvious. Not only are you allowing them to share your body, and womb space. But your exchanging energy. And that’s sort of a big deal.

Why willingly allow all of those different energies, entry into your personal space? Different people bring about different things. And in case your unaware, everyone does not walk with good energy.

Example, have you ever been in a relationship (intimate or otherwise) or a closed in space with someone. And then suddenly things don’t feel quite right? Take a survey of who’s in the room, or who your in a relationship with. Those particular individuals aren’t vibin’ right.

Ladies and gentlemen we have to learn how to be more selective with whom we choose to share our dwellings with. Most of the time we are just interested in the physical aspect of a person. The outer layers tend to intrigue us so much. We do not take the time to really look at and see the person who is in front of us.

Like what else is this person bringing to the table? Aside from looks, lust, and a good roll in the sack. What else lies within? When you pull back all of the visible layers, will you be happy with your under lying discovery?

In closing my people. If something and someone is for you, it shall be. A loved one would never ask or allow you to disrespect self.  In a means to fulfill their selfish behavior. Safe guard who you are, by protecting your mind, body and soul. As those things are important to your very existence. And never allow someone to be more than willing to only give you half of themselves.

What are your thoughts? I will like to hear from you.

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  • Thai Cmbl

    The line was crossed in their relationship when he violated the agreement of who not to deal with. How they handle it is how they handle it. Open relationships are like closed relationships–something is bound to happen that one dislikes when it comes to infidelity. In closing, I think that people should do what’s best for their relationship be it open or closed.

  • Toni Wiggins

    I definitely agree with the lines being crossed when he choose to go against the agreement that was set in place. I also agree with people doing what is best for them in their relationship. But don’t do something based off of how someone else feels. It’s wasn’t like she originally entered the relationship in an open state. She agreed for it to be open, as a means to keep him, because he wouldn’t stop cheating. Do something because that’s what you truly want, not for the sake of someone else happiness.

  • Thai Cmbl

    The path we mostly start on is a monogamous one. As we progress from our socialized origins, we learn to veer off from our beginnings. We are a promiscuous species. The thing with promiscuity is that it starts as a thought and not as an act. A lot of people in relationships are in some sort of open relationship if they want it or not. “She,” as an example, be/c it is a generalized concept that, instead of being cheated on, let’s have an open relationship.

    • Toni Wiggins

      In life you do have choices. Now if you don’t chose your right to exercise those choices, then that’s on you. “She” decided that her want and need for the man went beyond how she really felt. And as a means to keep this man she gave him the option to freely cheat, since he was already cheating. And had no intentions on stopping. You do what you feel and want for you, not for the sake of someone else. Now if she was doing it for her, then cool. But that was not the case. Also yes we are promiscuous species. In or out of relationships we have thoughts of exercising those feelings. But if you decide to be in a serious relationship, then it’s not fair to your mate to exercise those thoughts and feelings. Unless in the beginning you express your need and want to be promiscuous and it’s accepted then that’s fine. Anything other than that is just selfishness.

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