Love & Relationships

“Giving Boyfriends Husband Benefits | While Dating?”

In the past I’ve seen and have engaged in conversations where this has been a huge topic of discussion. First, what is the “real” purpose of dating? Why do we actually date? Is dating just something to do when one is bored, as a means to pass time? Or is it like getting up and going to work daily? We do it cause we have to pay the bills, therefore we have no choice.

I mean really is there such a thing?

Dating Couple Kissing

Granted, people do date for many reasons, but let’s look at the people who are actually dating for meaning and purpose.

For starters  dating should be approached seriously, sort of like a job interview. When job searching you usually only apply to companies that best suit your needs. You scan through the job description. You read what the company is about, what they have to offer, and what you can do for each other. And after doing your research, if you feel that the company and job description is a proper match for you then the end goal is to land that job!

Well isn’t dating sort of like the same thing? Now I know there are times when people date just for the hell of it (I mean haven’t we all?) Simply when one is looking for a fun time. With no strings attached, and nothing deep nor heavy. Just pure good ole fashion fun. In those circumstances of course you hold back. You don’t want the other indiviual getting the wrong idea. So you usually dont give them the best of what you have to offer.

Fast foward.. Once you have settled in on a decent mate, after weeding out all of the busters you set your sights on one individual in particular. You notice things about him that’s speak to you. And as time progress you realize that what you want and need is standing right in front of you.

Hopefully he realizes the same. Yes I said hopefully because sometimes everyone doesn’t reach the same page, in the same chapter at the same time. Now if everyone is in alignment, then I guess you have yourself a serious relationship.

Now that you are dating seriously, there’s a few things that begin to take place. You start to look at each other differently, and the interactions between you two begin to change. The things that you would have not entertained in the beginning, has become second nature now. For example doing his laundry, cooking his meals, cleaning his house, going grocery shopping, scooping the eye crust out of his eyes, or maybe even moving in together.

For some woman those above things may be too extreme and over the top. They look at those type of things as husband treatment, vip status and a little too extreme for a man that your just dating. Regardless if the relationship is in a serious stage. My question is, why half ass it?

If you are really in love with a person and those feelings are mutal then why shouldn’t you treat your mate as if he is your husband? Especially if your relationship is in a very serious place?
You can’t become CEO of a company without displaying hardwork.

We get so caught up in the ring, the ceremony, the paperwork, and the perks. We tend to miss one important key factor which is the actual union. Now ladies I am not saying just because your in a relationship you should treat him as king. Is he king material, or court jester status? Does he treat you like the queen that you are, or a mere peasant?

If you answer no to those above questions then girl get you a new man, because clearly the one you got is not the one for you. You treat others as you would like to be treated. And if your really into a person you will go above and beyond to make sure they are comfortable and happy.

You wouldn’t want your mate to hold back on how he treats you because your not married, right? So then why should you? I mean let’s face it, you judge the quality of an individual by how they treat you. So if your dating someone and he doesn’t treat you well then would you consider him to be a man you would want to date, let alone settle down with?

Think of it like this. Would marriage magically change how you treat your partner? Would you suddenly decide to do new and different things? Suddenly because you guys are now a married couple, officially on paper? Would marriage make you love him any more than you already do?

Some people throw out the point of “Well if your not married, there are no garentees.” News flash; waking up each and every morning isn’t a garentee either. But some of us still makes plans for the week any way, right?

Ladies what’s your thoughts?

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  • Reema

    Lol, wiping the crust out of his eyes, no! Weather courting, dating or married I won’t do it. I hear what you are saying. I have been in a marriage and long term after being divorced. In my opinion, as far as how you treat the man I don’t think it’s any different if you’re in love , but marriage holds a lot of weight. Let me clarify. As far as business is concerned yes. Some folks tend to treat you better if he has “made an honest women” out of you. Especially older folk. There are perks to being married, but as far as how you treat them, I don’t feel there is a difference.

    • Toni Wiggins

      I definitely agree with you when it comes to the “business” side of marriage. Of course there are perks for all parties that are involved. You do have some folks that feel there should be limitations on the things you do for your mate “pre” marriage. Like you said you do things when your in love. And if you allow your love to have limitations because there’s no “ring” then are you actually giving your relationship your all?

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